Dating: What Girls Need Guys To Know--PART 1

This post has been incubating in my brain for years.  And after a good conversation a few Sundays ago with the current EQP in our ward (who wants to encourage the elders in the ward to date more) this post is finally ready to be born.

In the past 10 years I have had A LOT of roommates (like, over 50 actual house mates) and an even greater number of honorary roommates.  Living with a lot of girls can be drama.  It seems like someone is always having relationship drama.  Girls talk a lot.  We talk a lot about our guy problems.  We get angry together and eat Ben and Jerry's and talk about how guys are such jerks.  I didn't think much about it until recent years when I realized that this is every unmarried girl's go-to response.  Guys. Are. Jerks.  I felt really comfortable using those words to console a heartbroken friend until I heard what guys say to respond to their unsuccessful relationships, "man, she was crazy".

So what is it?  Are guys jerks or are girls crazy?  Or both?  Guys CAN be jerks.  Girls CAN be crazy.  Usually though, we label the opposite gender with these terms because they don't think with the same logic that we do.  Guys become jerks when they don't clearly communicate their intentions.  Girls will interpret a guy's behavior however they want and see only what they want to see because the guy is not clearly explaining what is going on.  Honestly though, a lot of guys have no clue what they're doing or what they want and don't realize that their actions are often saying to a girl, "I'm interested" even when they're not.  Girls become crazy when their feelings get hurt and rather than communicating that with words sometimes she communicates it with irrational behavior assuming that they guy will pick up on these clues and rectify the situation.  When the guys don't realize what is going on the girl gets even more upset and acts even more irrationally.  In her mind, she has been led on and she feels like a fool for trying to make sense of a guy's actions since he wouldn't explain what it all meant (or didn't mean) in the first place.

But the name calling has to stop.  By the time you're in your mid-to-late 20's you should have learned how to communicate expectations and frustrations with the opposite sex, and with anyone for that matter.  We've got to stop being jerks and crazies.  The problem is that we don't date enough to actually gain the proper communication skills and empathy.  And, when we do date (or are even just in the friend zone), we are not taking risks and actually addressing expectations and frustrations.

So here are some of the categories (pieces of advice from girls to guys) I will be addressing in subsequent posts:

-Be a focused dater--remember the purposes of dating.
-Dating won't be as scary for you when you know what you want.
-You complain girls are all the same but keep dating the same kind of girls.
-Consider girls that you haven't considered before..be open.
-We know it's just a date, not a marriage proprosal.
-Stop hanging out with us and being our best friends.
-How we want men to treat us:  It's really not that hard to make us fall in love with you.
-How we show you we're interested.
-Be honest (even painfully so) about your intentions and feelings the minute you realize we're not on the same page.
-Remember, we get rejected too.  It's a two-way street.

Stay tuned for more...

CLICK HERE FOR PART 2
CLICK HERE FOR PART 3

I'm Grateful

I am so grateful today for revelation.  I feel like God has been blessing me so much with tiny little promptings to do simple little things AND I've noticed that as I do them (instead of wussing out or ignoring them) that I keep getting more and more little promptings to do things that bless my and other people's lives.

I am so grateful that I work with two awesome Spanish teachers.  Our planning sessions are super tough and the truth is we are all probably in over our heads with some of this IB stuff.  Today we started our planning meeting with a prayer and the revelation and inspiration just kept flowing.

I am so grateful for all that I am learning from the book Infinite Atonement.  This book has been awesome.

I'm grateful for libraries so I can check books out for free.

I'm so grateful for my 5th period class.  Today as they were playing "centers" games in groups that they had actually created the day before I was amazed at how well their games actually taught and review important concepts for the test.  I was amazed at how the groups took the time to talk and teach each other.  I was amazed at how engaged and on task they were.  I love those guys!

Summer...

...is delightful. And sadly, it officially ends on Wednesday when the kiddos come back to school.

I've had a really great summer and I'd like to highlight some of the things that made it into my gratitude journal.

-bike rides around the lake (my bike was probably the best purchase I've made in 2012 so far)

-going to Oregon to be with my family. They are so funny, I sure love them. We got to go to the beach, I went on a bike ride with my dad, I got to see the framily, went to Macey's b-ball games, saw my grandparents, and went house hunting with my parents. It was cool to see all of the work they've done on the house.

-trip to Vegas for Collette's shower. It was fun to be with the Wixom family. And as an added bonus I got to see my old college pal Lindsay.

-I've gotten to know a lot of really cool people in the ward. Too many to list. But I will say that some of my favorites have been people that I got to know better/spend time with at both the stake and ward camp outs.

-spending time with my friend Bailey who I love to pieces. She is a good listener and makes feel better (like the night I freaked out that I was turning 29 and was entering my last year in my 20's)

-going on some fun and interesting dates. Some were more on the fun side and some were more on the interesting side but I got to know some great people.

-trip to Denver. It started with hanging out with the Baers. We checked out arches national park (where Joel threw a cactus at me lol). I got some quality time with my grandma, aunts and cousins. We hit up some garage sales and spent way too much time watching the news about the shooting.

-the fun of the summer Olympics.

-attending and being super involved with Lauren and Preston's wedding.

-a nice long phone call with my oldest dear friend tammydoodle.

-a really fun filled birthday with people that I love.

My Oregon Vacation

Some instagram lately...

My desk drawer.

What do the contents of my desk drawer say about me? Btw most of the junk is from teacher appreciation week.

I'm feeling burned out...

HELP! I'm feeling burned out and need to recharge my batteries (figuratively). It's an antsy time of year at work and these teenagers are making me want to rip out my hair, then last week I got super sick and all of these great goals I had been working on fell by the wayside because all of my energy was going to just staying on top of my work responsibilities. Got any ideas for how to feel rejuvenated without taking a vacation? Talk to me blogger world!