A few Sundays ago my Bishop had brought up Elder Bednar's conference talk about the difference between testimony and conversion. Hopefully you've read/listened to that talk, if you haven't, you can read it HERE. My bishop shared these words, "Conviction, humility, repentance, and submissiveness precede the abandonment of our weapons of rebellion". The thought came to me that maybe I have stubbornness, weapons of rebellion, that I'm not willing to give up. I thought, "How can I stop resisting a stronger conversion?" I am limiting and resisting a stronger conversion when I resist God's will for me. Accepting ALL of what God has planned for me right now and in the near future will deepen my conversion. One tangible thing I can work on is not grumbling about annoying and inconvenient situations that arise.
It's was such an interesting and humbling thought to consider, that my conversion could be stronger than what it is. Because the truth is, I do feel converted. I feel like I am consistent and steady in living my testimony. But there is no "level of conversion" we reach where we've all of the sudden "made it". We cannot put limits to our conversion, there is always more to work on.
Now, with respect to what I said about not resisting God's will for me, I'd like to paraphrase what the brilliant Jen Willahan said several weeks ago in Relief Society. Essentially, she said that sometimes we get so caught up in the timing and formula of how things should work out, and how and when we get answers, that we rob ourselves of the growth that takes place in the process of seeking, asking and waiting. I really want to be more humble with, submissive to and accepting of God and His plan because I know that there is wisdom in his timing and there's growth that I will lose if I don't have patience in the process.