Dating: What Girls Need Guys To Know--PART 2

Let's continue discussing some of these things girls want guys to know about dating.  Before we begin, will you please watch this quick little video?  It's right around a minute long.  We will come back to it in a little bit.

Be a focused dater--remember the purposes of dating.

I remember my mission president using an analogy once where he talked about "golpeando el aire"--punching the air.  He talked about how if a boxer can get in one really good disorienting punch to his opponent that's all it takes.  The dizzy boxer will keep taking swings to fight back but struggles to make contact.  With each wasted swing he loses more and more energy.  As hard as he is working to fight back, all he is really doing is attacking the air quite well.  That image of a disoriented boxer using all of his strength, swinging in the air, without making contact has always stayed with me.  There were times on the mission where I felt like I was just punching the air.  I was working SO hard but felt like I wasn't being very effective.  During those times I had to slow down for a minute, evaluate my work, remember my purpose and refocus and change some things.  I've heard this message another way, "work smarter, not harder".

How does that apply to dating?  Well I've known a guy or two who were so disillusioned with dating.  They had been dating like crazy, spending time and money on people and not feeling like they were getting the results they wanted.  Maybe their dating, frequent and frenzied, wasn't very effective.  Their dating wasn't helping them accomplish what they wanted to accomplish.  They needed to pause and reevaluate what they even wanted to get out of dating.  So, what do you want to get out of dating?  Knowing that will save you a lot of time, energy and money.

Dating won't be as scary/frustrating for you when you know what you want.

This point is very similar to the last piece of advice.  Just like you need to have a plan for what you hope to gain from dating experiences, you need to have an idea of what kind of person you are ultimately looking for.  If you haven't watched the video I linked at the top of this entry, go back and watch it or the rest of this section won't make sense to you.

Did you catch the tagline at the end of the commercial?  "It's easy to miss something you aren't looking for".  Everyone sees the moonwalking bear once they know to look for him.  In fact, you probably laughed at yourself for missing something so obvious BUT YOU WERE PAYING ATTENTION TO THE WRONG THINGS!  Guys, I hate to sound harsh, but sometimes you pay attention to the girls that are not what you are really looking for.  Stop counting passes and look for the moonwalking bear :)  Dating will be waaay more fulfilling for you.  This ties nicely into the next point...

...you complain girls are all the same but keep dating the same kinds of girls.

Girls are just as guilty of this!  We say, "guys are jerks" even though we know that's not true.  Not ALL guys are jerks just because we keep going out with the insensitive or clueless ones.  So, guess what?  Not are girls are going to disappoint you or treat you badly.  Change it up.  Maybe you could even try to...

...consider girls that you haven't considered before--be open. 

This is a big one!  I have had several friends over the past year or so who have married guys that they were good friends with long before they ever started dating.  It took these guys a long time to sift through a bunch of distractions and realize they had something great right in front of them.  Don't discount anyone!  If you are worried about ruining a friendship, well, you're going to have to get over that because the two of you are not going to stay friends forever.  This is maybe just my personal opinion but I don't believe men and women can/should maintain meaningful long-term friendships successfully.  That doesn't mean I don't have male friends, it just means I don't really envision myself still being close friends with them ten years from now.  You are entitled to your own opinion about that :)

Well guys, there are a few points for you to consider.  What do you think?  Do you agree or disagree with any of these ideas?  Comment below!

Next time I'll be writing about these points:

-We know it's just a date, not a marriage proposal.
-Stop hanging out with us and being our best friends.
-How we want men to treat us:  It's really not that hard to make us fall in love with you.
-How we show you we're interested.
-Be honest (even painfully so) about your intentions and feelings the minute you realize we're not on the same page.
-Remember, we get rejected too.  It's a two-way street.

CLICK HERE TO READ PART 1
CLICK HERE TO READ PART 3