And for some reason that feeling took me back to 2002 in Tyler's white clunker of an SUV (she had a name like Bessie or Bertha). I can't remember who was there that night...maybe Jon and Esera, maybe Claud, Mak or Tiffany. But I remember laying there in the back with the seat folded down and listening silently to Simon (by Lifehouse) and breathing in fresh Idaho air and feeling so at peace and so loved and just in communion with everything and everyone around me. It made me miss all of the times in Idaho when there was nothing to do and we would go driving on a dark night through potato farm roads, and not say anything, and just be. It made me miss the kinds of friendships where you don't have to say anything, you're okay just being together and let the music do the talking. Or where quiet is okay because you know each other well enough to have the capacity to converse without talking.
Sometimes I forget how much certain things make me happy. Looking at the stars is one of them. I need to do it more often.
And now, a few of the delicious lyrics from the song To Haunt, To Startle
When you hear nothing...
And you feel less...
Your struggle is pretty, sit still
& know that I know what is best.